Planet Stupid

by Vampirates

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1.
FARTS AND FEET It’s the smell of success The dispel of excess A crippling aroma From night that is hungover It’s 10 hours ahead Another 24 behind A refried mac and habe blend The scent will make you blind It’s call and response Public non chalance It’s toxic it’s hypoxic It makes the paint peel off outside The flowers wilt and die When we pass the gas station Has a warning sign With a picture of our van Demons are escaping from each of our buttholes And our windows still don’t roll goddamn down So we smell lovely ready for business Smelling extra sharp It’s the smell of success The dispel of excess A crippling aroma From a night that is Ready for business Smelling extra sharp
2.
COMMON GROUND Sometimes I consider giving society A second chance think that we can turn it around Could it possible to pull it together now To live on common ground Tolerant of differences Nope I think we’re fucked Consider the past our standard of living is absurd Diamonds and hummers starving children dinner for the birds We’re the fucking kettle accusing the rest of the world Of being blacker than our own very hearts Do you think that you’re innocent Of the blood dripping from your palms I don’t think so Ignorant servant Now Get on your knees and take one against evil
3.
Untitled (free) 01:42
UNTITLED Write it down already The clock’s been ticking for years Make up your mind already You’re clogging all of the gears In the back of the room Last in first out Apathy I assume Insufficient amount The plate is piled so high Yet it’s always spread so thin Write it down already The clock’s been ticking for years Make up your mind already You’re clogging all of the gears In the back of the room Last in first out Apathy I assume Insufficient amount The plate is piled so high Yet it’s always spread so thin The brain in a lull This is a deadly sin What was I saying? The brain in a lull This is a deadly sin Write a song with half your ass And watch the praise come pouring in Write it down already The clock’s been ticking for years Make up your mind already You’re clogging all of the gears The brain in a lull This is a deadly sin What was I saying? The brain in a lull This is a deadly sin You’ll write a shitty country song And win yourself a Grammy award
4.
THIS MERCH IS A PIPEBOMB I lost my backpack in El Paso It contained one important thing We lost some gear in New Orleans And we also lost our weed We drank and smoked on a porch in Nashville Drank fighting cock with Chris Only one thing that sucked Was coming home to out find that This merch is a pipebomb Fueled by beer in Austin, Texas Dave rode the tall bike down the stairs We played a full basement in Flagstaff There’s fucking awesome people there In Vegas TBR showed up We filled that room up with smoke The Buick made it back to Reno And I don’t think that we went broke This merch is a pipebomb Punish your Buick Someone stole our merch at the returning show We lost money to guarantee Why come home? Someone found our suitcase in the parking lot With all our shirts, posters, patches and a note that read This merch is a pipebomb
5.
STATUS UPDATE The people who encourage you would love to derail a train Unwarranted complaints and laundry lists of gripes These stupid fucking people are ruining your stupid life And how much longer can you bite your lip I could take myself out But then what would you do Life would be so boring Couldn’t do that to you Though my life would be through ‘ts you I’ll be ignoring Words lost to drunken nights Ideas lost to the slightest of distraction This mental train is losing traction I could take myself out But then what would you do Life would be so boring Couldn’t do that to you Though my life would be through ‘ts you I’ll be avoiding Time grows slimmer Minute by inch You grow fatter While you fucking bitch How much longer can you bite your lip In the face of ignorance How much much longer can you be polite In a world that’s fueled by dicks Unwarranted complaints and laundry lists of gripes These stupid fucking people are ruining your stupid life And I’ll spend every minute jumping through the hurdles Just to poison myself Great
6.
T Minus 00:43
T MINUS Holy shit there’s a lot of cops Fuck fuck fuck they’re surrounding us All of this for covering Bodycount? Verbal harassment and drug dogs Hope they can’t Smell my car Or the jar In the bar Of narco Ticks count down Set to explode Patrick get out of Here we are I ran away Shit dick cunt they’re after me Pat calm me down they’ve got Maddy But I’m not the one Not the one Who took something out Of the car From the jar In the bar Of narco Ticks counted Pat got out
7.
DIARRHEA GENERATOR Ingest mystery from some stranger Now my colon is in Danger it’s future Is destined to end Inside of the blue box Overwhelmed a last resort Who’s occupants it must abort Sani hut melting Blue bidet Beyond the chamber Beats shake the ground Cannot escape 10,000 degrees Aroma therapy Want out can’t delete Can’t expel any more Goddamn you Andy Moore Shitting, sweating, stinking, spewing This is my life The hell am I doing?
8.
Drunk Money 01:03
DRUNK MONEY There’s something that I’d like to say Pull you aside so you can understand me It’s not about integrity It’s more about the ticket money How many can you sell? How many can you sell? Ticket sales and booze money It’s not about integrity Ticket sales and drunk money We’ll fuck the kids exclusively Power boners don’t come cheap Own the scene in our own way Controlling bands by when they play Owed to us: talents displayed We take advantage everyday How many can you sell? How many can you sell? How many can you sell? What’s your best draw? How many through the door? What’s your genre? Ticket sales and drunk money We’ll fuck the kids exclusively Power wood does not come cheap So you’re in a band that wants to play? What kind of music did you say? How many can you sell? How many through the door? What’s your genre? Ticket sales and booze money It’s not about integrity Ticket sales and drunk money We’ll fuck the kids exclusively Power boners don’t come cheap
9.
EAT THIS SONG 8 years, X number of shows, just learning as we go Jump in a van with your friends and fam, quit your day job, hit the road Screen your own merch, make hats and shirts, sell it cheap, learn how to sew Gas ain´t cheap, let´s beat the streets and play another hundred shows Bodies thrashing, cymbals crashing, don’t die young but live fast It pays to know your life is worth a goddamn hell of a lot more than cash What once was our band is now a way of life Drive the van, unload the van, live the dream, pack it up and do it again We´re not better than you, you can do this too We’re not better than you, you can do this too Go on tour, start a band, live your fucking life, you only get one chance Punish your television, do the dishes
10.
I 01:00
I I I just can’t stop writing in the first person I am trying to write a persuasive paper I Just wish I could write in narrative Make up sweet stories But I Get so caught up bragging about myself that I My editorial My autobiography By opinion Every song is about me Me If you’re looking for some insight You’ve come to the wrong guy
11.
Never 02:02
NEVER I’ll never be able to repay the wisdom, courage and love that I have received I wouldn’t have half the friends that I have without this I can’t remove the smile from my face everytime I see you play Your words inspire me everyday I will never forget when I asked you for advice and you told me “never give up, never give in” No one I know lives truer to those words So please do not... do not forget I have watched some friends grow into what could be the next big thing It’s hard work and genuine love that will get you what you deserve There is so much for me to learn and so much for me to teach We are just one step away from the next, and I look to you I will never forget when I asked you for advice and you told me “never give up, never give in” No one I know lives truer to those words So please do not... do not forget It goes so fast as things take off my best friends, me, the van, guitars, drums, and voice Play on those streets to fill that tank
12.
Obvious Day 01:47
OBVIOUS DAY Hey you fucking dick come in and get a drink Hey you fucking bitch your hoo haa fucking stinks You’ve found the best camp around Whiskey is the name of the game Skateboarding live music You’ll never be the same Before you get on the half pipe to skate You must take a shot of whiskey Before you think of taking the mic Don’t touch that fucking mic Don’t you fucking think about it You are the scum we are the gods Forget your stupid life Forget you’re stupid I know we’ll have to fight Not for, for what is right Can’t win em all but you can fuck yourself Cause this really is as good as it gets Can’t think of anything that could be better But if I could I’d probably be pissed Don’t touch the fucking mic Don’t you fucking think about it Today we’re the leaders Tomorrow we’re scum Gauges full throttle Buckets of fun Didn’t you hear what I just said When I told you to knock it off Spray paint to your face We’ll see you next year I know we’ll have to fight Not for, for what is right Can’t win em all but you can fuck yourself You’ve found the best camp around The one that doesn’t close Spewing all the hatred Cracking up all the hoes If we’ve taught you one thing It’s that you can do anything you Set your mind to You fucking idiot
13.
Dark Waters 00:43
DARK WATERS For way too long You’ve had our friend He’s all locked up in your cages We’re talking about people’s lives here And I won’t call him a saint But he’s not much different than you He just prescribed to his friends in need What the conservative refuse To let him out It’s sick that we elect these chumps To steal people’s lives Rehabilitate my ass The system has obviously failed Can we sit back and watch the show Until they decide to come And take us all away And hand in hand we’ll all be locked up Freedumb!
14.
C# 01:22
C# Sometimes it’s hard to see the forest from the trees see things for what they are Demons in your brain but you can ease the pain with whatever makes the feeling seem so far... away I’m no perfect man, I might drink my problems away down at the bar It’s your life, it’s my advice, don’t ever let a pink elephant crash your car Confusion illusion delusion straight losing touch forgot what it’s all about World’s got nothing left to give it seems incentives to live are all running out You can kill yourself you can’t kill the pain You’ll just give it back to those who care the most instead Think about that next time you let a pink elephant hold a gun to your fucking head
15.

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released April 26, 2012

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Vampirates Reno

"Then the Vampirates played and proceeded to absolutely beat the shit out of each other and simultaneously amaze and confuse the audience with the ferocity of the music and the barroom brawl vibe they have with each other."

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