Planet Stupid

by Vampirates

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released April 26, 2012

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Vampirates Reno

"Then the Vampirates played and proceeded to absolutely beat the shit out of each other and simultaneously amaze and confuse the audience with the ferocity of the music and the barroom brawl vibe they have with each other."

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Track Name: Farts And Feet
FARTS AND FEET

It’s the smell of success
The dispel of excess
A crippling aroma
From night that is hungover

It’s 10 hours ahead
Another 24 behind
A refried mac and habe blend
The scent will make you blind

It’s call and response
Public non chalance
It’s toxic it’s hypoxic
It makes the paint peel off outside

The flowers wilt and die
When we pass the gas station
Has a warning sign
With a picture of our van

Demons are escaping from each of our buttholes
And our windows still don’t roll goddamn down
So we smell lovely ready for business
Smelling extra sharp

It’s the smell of success
The dispel of excess
A crippling aroma
From a night that is

Ready for business
Smelling extra sharp
Track Name: Common Ground
COMMON GROUND

Sometimes I consider giving society
A second chance think that we can turn it around

Could it possible to pull it together now

To live on common ground
Tolerant of differences
Nope I think we’re fucked

Consider the past our standard of living is absurd
Diamonds and hummers starving children dinner for the birds
We’re the fucking kettle accusing the rest of the world
Of being blacker than our own very hearts

Do you think that you’re innocent
Of the blood dripping from your palms

I don’t think so
Ignorant servant
Now

Get on your knees and take one against evil
Track Name: Untitled
UNTITLED

Write it down already
The clock’s been ticking for years
Make up your mind already
You’re clogging all of the gears

In the back of the room
Last in first out
Apathy I assume
Insufficient amount
The plate is piled so high
Yet it’s always spread so thin

Write it down already
The clock’s been ticking for years
Make up your mind already
You’re clogging all of the gears

In the back of the room
Last in first out
Apathy I assume
Insufficient amount
The plate is piled so high
Yet it’s always spread so thin

The brain in a lull
This is a deadly sin
What was I saying?
The brain in a lull
This is a deadly sin

Write a song with half your ass
And watch the praise come pouring in

Write it down already
The clock’s been ticking for years
Make up your mind already
You’re clogging all of the gears

The brain in a lull
This is a deadly sin
What was I saying?
The brain in a lull
This is a deadly sin
You’ll write a shitty country song
And win yourself a Grammy award
Track Name: This Merch Is A Pipebomb
THIS MERCH IS A PIPEBOMB

I lost my backpack in El Paso
It contained one important thing
We lost some gear in New Orleans
And we also lost our weed

We drank and smoked on a porch in Nashville
Drank fighting cock with Chris
Only one thing that sucked
Was coming home to out find that

This merch is a pipebomb

Fueled by beer in Austin, Texas
Dave rode the tall bike down the stairs
We played a full basement in Flagstaff
There’s fucking awesome people there

In Vegas TBR showed up
We filled that room up with smoke
The Buick made it back to Reno
And I don’t think that we went broke

This merch is a pipebomb

Punish your Buick

Someone stole our merch at the returning show
We lost money to guarantee
Why come home?
Someone found our suitcase in the parking lot
With all our shirts, posters, patches and a note that read

This merch is a pipebomb
Track Name: Status Update
STATUS UPDATE

The people who encourage you would love to derail a train
Unwarranted complaints and laundry lists of gripes
These stupid fucking people are ruining your stupid life
And how much longer can you bite your lip

I could take myself out
But then what would you do
Life would be so boring

Couldn’t do that to you
Though my life would be through
‘ts you I’ll be ignoring

Words lost to drunken nights
Ideas lost to the slightest of distraction
This mental train is losing traction

I could take myself out
But then what would you do
Life would be so boring

Couldn’t do that to you
Though my life would be through
‘ts you I’ll be avoiding

Time grows slimmer
Minute by inch
You grow fatter
While you fucking bitch

How much longer can you bite your lip
In the face of ignorance
How much much longer can you be polite
In a world that’s fueled by dicks

Unwarranted complaints and laundry lists of gripes
These stupid fucking people are ruining your stupid life
And I’ll spend every minute jumping through the hurdles
Just to poison myself

Great
Track Name: T Minus
T MINUS

Holy shit there’s a lot of cops
Fuck fuck fuck they’re surrounding us
All of this for covering Bodycount?
Verbal harassment and drug dogs
Hope they can’t

Smell my car
Or the jar
In the bar
Of narco

Ticks count down
Set to explode
Patrick get out of

Here we are I ran away
Shit dick cunt they’re after me
Pat calm me down they’ve got Maddy
But I’m not the one

Not the one

Who took something out

Of the car
From the jar
In the bar
Of narco

Ticks counted
Pat got out
Track Name: Diarrhea Generator
DIARRHEA GENERATOR

Ingest mystery from some stranger
Now my colon is in

Danger it’s future
Is destined to end
Inside of the blue box

Overwhelmed a last resort
Who’s occupants it must abort

Sani hut melting
Blue bidet
Beyond the chamber
Beats shake the ground
Cannot escape

10,000 degrees
Aroma therapy
Want out can’t delete
Can’t expel any more
Goddamn you Andy Moore
Shitting, sweating, stinking, spewing
This is my life
The hell am I doing?
Track Name: Drunk Money
DRUNK MONEY

There’s something that I’d like to say
Pull you aside so you can understand me
It’s not about integrity
It’s more about the ticket money

How many can you sell?
How many can you sell?

Ticket sales and booze money
It’s not about integrity
Ticket sales and drunk money
We’ll fuck the kids exclusively
Power boners don’t come cheap

Own the scene in our own way
Controlling bands by when they play
Owed to us: talents displayed
We take advantage everyday

How many can you sell?
How many can you sell?

How many can you sell?
What’s your best draw?
How many through the door?
What’s your genre?

Ticket sales and drunk money
We’ll fuck the kids exclusively
Power wood does not come cheap

So you’re in a band that wants to play?
What kind of music did you say?

How many can you sell?

How many through the door?
What’s your genre?

Ticket sales and booze money
It’s not about integrity
Ticket sales and drunk money
We’ll fuck the kids exclusively
Power boners don’t come cheap
Track Name: Eat This Song
EAT THIS SONG

8 years, X number of shows, just learning as we go
Jump in a van with your friends and fam, quit your day job, hit the road
Screen your own merch, make hats and shirts, sell it cheap, learn how to sew
Gas ain´t cheap, let´s beat the streets and play another hundred shows

Bodies thrashing, cymbals crashing, don’t die young but live fast
It pays to know your life is worth a goddamn hell of a lot more than cash

What once was our band is now a way of life
Drive the van, unload the van, live the dream, pack it up and do it again
We´re not better than you, you can do this too

We’re not better than you, you can do this too
Go on tour, start a band, live your fucking life, you only get one chance
Punish your television, do the dishes
Track Name: I
I

I
I just can’t stop writing in the first person
I am trying to write a persuasive paper

I
Just wish I could write in narrative
Make up sweet stories
But
I

Get so caught up bragging about myself that

I
My editorial
My autobiography
By opinion
Every song is about me

Me
If you’re looking for some insight
You’ve come to the wrong guy
Track Name: Never
NEVER

I’ll never be able to repay the wisdom, courage and love that I have received
I wouldn’t have half the friends that I have without this
I can’t remove the smile from my face everytime I see you play
Your words inspire me everyday

I will never forget when I asked you for advice and you told me “never give up, never give in”
No one I know lives truer to those words
So please do not... do not forget

I have watched some friends grow into what could be the next big thing
It’s hard work and genuine love that will get you what you deserve
There is so much for me to learn and so much for me to teach
We are just one step away from the next, and I look to you

I will never forget when I asked you for advice and you told me “never give up, never give in”
No one I know lives truer to those words
So please do not... do not forget

It goes so fast as things take off my best friends, me, the van, guitars, drums, and voice
Play on those streets to fill that tank
Track Name: Obvious Day
OBVIOUS DAY

Hey you fucking dick come in and get a drink
Hey you fucking bitch your hoo haa fucking stinks
You’ve found the best camp around
Whiskey is the name of the game
Skateboarding live music
You’ll never be the same

Before you get on the half pipe to skate
You must take a shot of whiskey
Before you think of taking the mic

Don’t touch that fucking mic
Don’t you fucking think about it

You are the scum we are the gods

Forget your stupid life
Forget you’re stupid

I know we’ll have to fight
Not for, for what is right

Can’t win em all but you can fuck yourself
Cause this really is as good as it gets
Can’t think of anything that could be better
But if I could I’d probably be pissed

Don’t touch the fucking mic
Don’t you fucking think about it

Today we’re the leaders
Tomorrow we’re scum
Gauges full throttle
Buckets of fun

Didn’t you hear what I just said
When I told you to knock it off
Spray paint to your face
We’ll see you next year

I know we’ll have to fight
Not for, for what is right

Can’t win em all but you can fuck yourself

You’ve found the best camp around
The one that doesn’t close
Spewing all the hatred
Cracking up all the hoes
If we’ve taught you one thing
It’s that you can do anything you
Set your mind to
You fucking idiot
Track Name: Dark Waters
DARK WATERS

For way too long
You’ve had our friend
He’s all locked up in your cages
We’re talking about people’s lives here
And I won’t call him a saint
But he’s not much different than you

He just prescribed to his friends in need
What the conservative refuse

To let him out
It’s sick that we elect these chumps
To steal people’s lives
Rehabilitate my ass

The system has obviously failed
Can we sit back and watch the show
Until they decide to come
And take us all away
And hand in hand we’ll all be locked up
Freedumb!
Track Name: C#
C#

Sometimes it’s hard to see the forest from the trees see things for what they are
Demons in your brain but you can ease the pain with whatever makes the feeling seem so far... away

I’m no perfect man, I might drink my problems away down at the bar
It’s your life, it’s my advice, don’t ever let a pink elephant crash your car

Confusion illusion delusion straight losing touch forgot what it’s all about
World’s got nothing left to give it seems incentives to live are all running out

You can kill yourself you can’t kill the pain
You’ll just give it back to those who care the most instead
Think about that next time you let a pink elephant hold a gun to your fucking head